Things To Avoid When Wasted #1- Cutting Bread.

Har-har-har, you might think, as you read this. But no, I am not in the mood to kid around. I'm not much in the mood for anything really. Monday night I got home wasted after walking home, furious with Lolly because she kicked me in the head. It wasn't a big deal, a mistake, really, but I was drunk and I was super-angry. So I stormed out of Evol and walked home in my Jeffrey Campbell Litas ( utter BLASHEMY). Got home, started making myself an I-feel-sorry-for-myself sandwich and instead of cutting the bread like I was supposed to my stupid fat thumb got in the way and sliced open my stupid thumb. Bummer. Luckily I was drunk, because it was really deep,  but I obviously couldn't feel anything. 

Standing there stark naked with blood everywhere, I carried on making my sandwich while Keane (poor darling) ran around our apartment like a madman looking for clothes to dress me in so he could take me to the hospital. 5 minutes later I looked down at my body to see he had dressed me in leggings that only reached halfway down my shin, tennis shoes with no socks, a Tegan & Sara concert t-shirt and a denim jacket from 1992 that belonged to a rapper. Stunning choices Keane my love!

Anyway, as you can see (sorry for my disgusting picture), I now have 9 stitches and a stupid thumb sock bandage that I (thankfully) get to take off tomorrow.
Think I might lay off the drink for a while.
Maybe.

1 comment:

  1. Got to be honest, thats a pretty good thumb sacrificing effort! Sliced the bottom of my foot open on glass on NYE and didn't notice til the next day when it was too late for stitches, it is still open by a cm or so. RANK. Hope you feel soon,

    R x

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